Some people think the evil prophet of space is Christ reborn. Others want to measure her with scientific instruments. But Mrs. Brinkley, of the Admissions Board of the Lethal Magnet School for Wayward Youth, just wants to make sure that all of her paperwork is correct!<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve received a transcript,\u201d says Mrs. Brinkley, \u201cfrom one \u2018Evil Academy of Space.\u2019 But they\u2019re not responding to my communications.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d says Lucy. \u201cThe school is in ruins.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not even sure,\u201d says Mrs. Brinkley, \u201cwhere exactly \u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is in space,\u201d Lucy says. \u201cWell, was. Are you familiar with the Fan Hoeng?\u201d<\/p>\n
Mrs. Brinkley calls up the information on her marvelous desktop computing device. She frowns. \u201cThis is extremely irregular,\u201d she says. \u201cWe do not normally take space princess assassins from species sworn to destroy the Earth. But we also want to cultivate an atmosphere of inclusivity. Oh, dear, oh, dear.\u201d<\/p>\n
She ponders. She folds her hands. She stares at Lucy.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are your opinions on the killing of giant wolves?\u201d she asks.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you asking me to \u2014\u201d says Lucy.<\/p>\n
Mrs. Brinkley holds up a hand to interrupt her. \u201cOf course not. Of course not, child. We are strictly<\/i> forbidden to contract <\/i>the killing of gigantic chained-up wolves in England, and besides, you haven\u2019t even had any of the relevant classes. I just mean, what are your general feelings on the matter?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI like killing giant wolves,\u201d says Lucy. \u201cBut there is no challenge to it, unless they are also experts at the game of rock-paper-scissors.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPardon?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRock,\u201d says Lucy. She shows Mrs. Brinkley her fist. \u201cPaper.\u201d She holds out a flat and open hand. It writhes with an aegis of evil prophecy. \u201cScissors.\u201d<\/p>\n
She looks around.<\/p>\n
She points at a triad of trissors in a cup on Mrs. Brinkley\u2019s desk. Then she frowns at them. She picks them up. She wriggles them. Finally she sets them back in the cup with a dissatisfied frown.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is clearly not as well-developed a game on your world,\u201d she says, \u201cas in the glorious space empire of the Fan Hoeng. We will redress the matter when we rain fiery devastation on your cities, crack open your planet, and sweep away a tiny handful of survivors to endure endless generations of mockery in our zoos.\u201d<\/p>\n
After a moment, realizing that this would redress nothing, she adds, \u201cAlso, we would teach them how to play rock-paper-scissors after the fashion of the Fan Hoeng.\u201d<\/p>\n
In a smaller voice: \u201cPaper beats rock, rock beats scissors, et cetera.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mrs. Brinkley\u2019s eyes light up. \u201cYou mean hobbit-Spock-spider!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI do no such thing!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSpock sings about hobbits,\u201d Mrs. Brinkley explains, \u201cHobbits kill spiders, spiders spin devious webs of intrigue around Spock?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo!\u201d says Lucy. \u201cWe haven\u2019t even heard of the planet Vulcan, in space!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe can play a game or two if you like\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
Lucy squirms to the back of her seat in horror. \u201cPlease let\u2019s not.\u201d<\/p>\n
Later she roams the campus of the Lethal Magnet School for Wayward Youth aimlessly.<\/p>\n
The entire experience has unnerved her.<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2018Spock sings about hobbits?\u2019\u201d she asks the air. \u201c \u2018Spock sings about hobbits?!\u2019<\/i>\u201d<\/p>\n
And Emily is walking past just then, and Emily looks at her, and thinks about saying something, and if she had \u2014 if there\u2019d been just a little bit less in Emily\u2019s bladder, just a little bit less reason to hurry back to her dorm, if she\u2019d stopped and spoken to Lucy then \u2014 then the two of them would probably have been friends.<\/p>\n
But she gives her a Vulcan salute as she hurries past, instead, and Lucy shall scorn Emily thereafter.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Some people think the evil prophet of space is Christ reborn. Others want to measure her with scientific instruments. But Mrs. Brinkley, of the Admissions Board of the Lethal Magnet School for Wayward Youth, just wants to make sure that all of her paperwork is correct! \u201cI\u2019ve received a transcript,\u201d says Mrs. Brinkley, \u201cfrom one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2959,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[],"series":[47],"class_list":["post-4946","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-chapter-1","series-the-storm-that-saw-itself"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/Icon_Ink_Spock.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4946","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4946"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4946\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6187,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4946\/revisions\/6187"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2959"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4946"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4946"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4946"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fseries&post=4946"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}