Sid is in class. Sid is studying summoning. Sid\u2019s teacher teaches him about HALF-THING.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can summon it,\u201d enthuses the Lethal Magnet Professor of Summoning. He holds up his summoning magnet. \u201cIt\u2019s half a thing!\u201d<\/p>\n
Max raises his hand. He\u2019s a boy summoner.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat about a whole thing?\u201d Max asks.<\/p>\n
. . . he doesn\u2019t summon boys.<\/em> For clarity. He\u2019s a teenaged boy, who summons things. But not whole things! Right now, he is learning to summon half<\/em> a thing.<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s ridiculous,\u201d dismisses the Lethal Magnet Professor of Summoning. He waves a hand as if to brush the notion from the air, but since it\u2019s the hand holding a magnet, it\u2019s possible he only draws it closer. \u201cNobody\u2019s ever gotten strong enough to summon a whole thing.\u201d<\/p>\n He hesitates.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, whole things,\u201d he says. \u201cI mean, um, people have summoned things<\/em>. There are things that people summon wholes of. Or even two of, like HAND PUPPETS! But the thing is, you see, they\u2019re not this <\/em>thing. This is the thing you only summon half of. The other half is something else.\u201d<\/p>\n Max ponders this.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019d rather learn a more useful magic,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n \u201cBah,\u201d says the Professor. \u201cYou can use a half-thing to do all kinds of things!\u201d<\/p>\n Not, you know, in a \u2014<\/p>\n \u201cNot,\u201d clarifies the Professor, given the titters from the back of the class, \u201cin a juvenile sense. Rather, you can use a half-thing to clean wounds. Or to pull spiders off of someone\u2019s hair. Or to help them to the infirmary!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy wouldn\u2019t SCRUBBING BUBBLE be better?\u201d Max asks him.<\/p>\n \u201cWe\u2019re learning,\u201d says the Professor firmly, \u201cabout HALF-THING, today. . . . Sid. Sid. Sid!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Sid startles and looks up. He was scraping away at the bottom side of his wrist with a dull blade. It\u2019s not sharp enough to cut down to the artery, at least not the way he\u2019s using it, but the tantalizing thought that he might<\/em> makes the pain just a little bit more acute.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, Professor?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSid, you\u2019re not paying attention to this highly important information on the summoning techniques for HALF-THING.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI know!\u201d enthuses Sid. \u201cThat\u2019s why I\u2019m punishing myself for not paying attention. But the punishment keeps distracting me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBoy\u2019s practically a half-thing himself,\u201d mutters the Professor. Then, louder, \u201cGo to the Principal, then.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIsn\u2019t that double jeopardy?\u201d asks Max.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat\u2019s half of double?\u201d wonders one of the students, who isn\u2019t quite keeping up. She\u2019s runic track, and they don\u2019t have fractions in their language. I mean, their magic language. Obviously she\u2019s speaking English. Unless you\u2019re reading one of the many masterful translations of this story into other languages that its unprecedented popularity has brought about. But even then!<\/p>\n \u201cI can\u2019t,\u201d says Sid. He makes a face.<\/p>\n \u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, he\u2019s dead.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cPardon?\u201d says the Lethal Magnet Professor.<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s dead, sir<\/em>,\u201d says Sid, assuming that was the desired clarification.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat? Some kind of ghost? Zombie?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s deeply insensitive, sir,\u201d says Sid. He rubs at his nose, accidentally cutting it. \u201cOw,\u201d he adds.<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t \u2014\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt was at the assembly,\u201d Sid says. \u201cApparently someone whom the investigator dared not name ate most of him, frowned frustratedly, and said, \u2018Wrong goat.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s appalling,\u201d says the Lethal Magnet Professor of Summoning. \u201cI pray that justice is done. Do the police have any leads?\u201d<\/p>\n Sid stares at him.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you asking me, sir?\u201d<\/p>\n The Professor shakes his head, embarrassedly. \u201cAnyway. Go to your room, then.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s full of spiders,\u201d protests Sid, but under the Professor\u2019s glare he gets to his feet and he shuffles out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Sid is in class. Sid is studying summoning. Sid\u2019s teacher teaches him about HALF-THING. \u201cYou can summon it,\u201d enthuses the Lethal Magnet Professor of Summoning. He holds up his summoning magnet. \u201cIt\u2019s half a thing!\u201d Max raises his hand. He\u2019s a boy summoner. \u201cWhat about a whole thing?\u201d Max asks. . . . he doesn\u2019t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5482,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[],"series":[50],"class_list":["post-5461","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-vidars-boot-chapter-0-prologue","series-vidars-boot"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Icon_Ink_Spider_2.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5461","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5461"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5461\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6115,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5461\/revisions\/6115"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5482"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5461"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5461"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5461"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fseries&post=5461"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}