{"id":5751,"date":"2015-08-28T14:22:48","date_gmt":"2015-08-28T21:22:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/?p=5751"},"modified":"2016-04-07T15:33:31","modified_gmt":"2016-04-07T22:33:31","slug":"lamb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/?p=5751","title":{"rendered":"Lamb"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cGoats are very dull creatures,\u201d says Jane,  in a worldly fashion. \u201cI have entirely outgrown my one-time goat infatuation and now concern myself entirely with more <em>sophisticated<\/em> animals like lambs.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She outfits a lamb in a three-piece and a monocle on a golden chain.<\/p>\n<p>Then she runs away!<\/p>\n<p>The lamb traipses through their maisonette like it\u2019s skipping through the flowers. It knocks over a lamp. Then a bowl. Then Martin\u2019s box that holds anything. Martin\u2019s pile of white gold coins spills out.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI can explain that,\u201d says Martin.<\/p>\n<p>The lamb eyes him snootily through the monocle.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s just money,\u201d Martin says. \u201cPlease. Jane doesn\u2019t know. I didn\u2019t hurt anybody.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Pretty soon Martin is babbling confessions to crimes he didn\u2019t even commit!<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m a mob boss!\u201d Martin says. \u201cI had sex with an omelette!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The lamb has him sweating.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, wait! I\u2019m a really sharp goat!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The lamb traipses off on an adventure to the catacombs under Rome. It becomes involved with hard people, cold people, strange people.<\/p>\n<p>It does not show up in our story again.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI killed Jimmy Hoffa!\u201d Martin says, in full-on desperation; but he doesn\u2019t even know who that was.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cGoats are very dull creatures,\u201d says Jane, in a worldly fashion. \u201cI have entirely outgrown my one-time goat infatuation and now concern myself entirely with more sophisticated animals like lambs.\u201d She outfits a lamb in a three-piece and a monocle on a golden chain. Then she runs away! The lamb traipses through their maisonette like [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":868,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[],"series":[50],"class_list":["post-5751","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-vidars-boot-chapter-8-66-lamb","series-vidars-boot"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/09\/Icon_Goat.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5751","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5751"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5751\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6036,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5751\/revisions\/6036"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/868"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5751"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5751"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5751"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/books.hitherby.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fseries&post=5751"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}