Flashback: “Non-Euclidian Hydrodynamics”

The moon base explodes, as they always do. The last star Nazis shake their fists ineffectually after the zeppelin of Xavid, Professor of Non-Euclidian Hydrodynamics in the Science division of the Lethal Magnet School for Wayward Youth, a magnet school in Brentwood operating under the aegis of the Lethal Corporation with a mandate to gather young minds and train them in the limitless possibilities of one day being able to defeat giant wolves and other parties and entities that may or may not at some point in the future devour the world, which is to say, the world shining like a blue marble jewel in space under the light of the moon and the glittering exploding moonbase of the star Nazis as the zeppelin majestically sails away.

“Curse you!” the star Nazis cry out. “We were so sure that parallel lines would always converge!”

That is the relentless Euclidian hydrodynamics of the star Nazis—

And their fourteenth-worst failing.

The zeppelin slips through the twisting water-like channels of the cruel demiurge’s innards that pervade ordinary space and time. It is momentarily in Venice, Sweden, Mars. It inverts and reverts and resounds in the medium. Then it docks at the edge of the Department of Esoteric Studies.

There isn’t enough time for a coffee.

It’s almost enough to make you want to drink the demiurge medium— reputedly pineapple, purportedly caffeinated, and with just a bit of the taste Dr. Pepper once had.

Almost— but not quite.

Xavid hits the emergency caffeine button in passing. There is a perturbation in the luminiferous ether. A Lethal drink swirls into his cup. And he has just enough time to take a gulp and a half from it before throwing open the doors to the class.

Three students. One is dead. Two are sleeping. It’s so hard to get students!

Everyone knows Hydrodynamics’ a bore.

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