Serializations of the Hitherby Dragons novels

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Non-Lethal Solutions

Non-Lethal Solutions

“Well-fought,” admits the Vampire King, sinking back into his coffin.

His eyes flutter. He stares up at the ceiling of the chapel.

He sighs.

“I picked my enemy well,” he says, sadly, to the Professor of Non-Lethal Solutions. “At least. I knew that if I targeted you, if I pushed you, if I fought you hard, then it would be you here, with me, at the end. If you won.”

“Yes,” Professor Campana confirms.

“I will sleep now,” says the Vampire King. “I will sleep, and in some future aeon I will wake and I will trouble the world again. No prison will hold me. No coffin can confine me. There is nothing that a Professor of Non-Lethal Solutions can do to me that will stop my eventual rise; my eventual triumph; the endless rivers of blood that will flow over this mortal Brentwood, when you and your pitiful magnet school of yours are gone.”

“Um,” says Professor Campana.

“You see, at last,” says the Vampire King, “the limits of your pathetic pacifism.”

“Um,” says Professor Campana again.

The Vampire King waves a hand airily. “Go ahead. Trouble me with your words. Then leave me to meditate in steel casing for all the endless years.”

“It’s actually a specialization in Chemistry,” Professor Campana explains.



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